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But then – ugh – this creep rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to 20. Pissed me off, man, I’m like, “Mate, she ain’t a fuckin flea market!” Wanted to gut him, serve him up with chianti, ya feel me? “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, glarin at him. She’s crackin up, says, “You’re weird, I like it.” Happy as hell, I am – rare vibe, that.

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I remember one blistering summer day – I was counselling a lovely soul, right? – and we wandered down Eastfield Lane, the sun warming our backs, the trees murmuring comfort words, almost like they were whispering “Carpe diem, dear!” It took me right back to that bittersweet vibe of Margaret, all those pensive glances and existential musings sprinkled in, “Mistakes are the portals of discovery.” I swear, even the leaves were dancing with secrets!

Party fever to hit farm park just outside Swadlincote with music and shows to mark May Bank Holiday