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About Manchester

I reckon it’s freedom, right? Students, younguns, takin’ charge of their bits—self-determination, my arse. Half these sods don’t know what they want—swipe right, shag, repeat. I drink, I know things—did ya know, back in ‘15, some uni bloke made a sex-dating bot? Matched with 50 birds, didn’t even leave his dorm—genius or lazy, you pick. Got me chuffed, that did. But then, there’s the dark side—catfishin’, creeps, and “send nudes” pricks. Pissed me off once, this lass told me her date showed up 20 stone heavier—*“We’re all ashes here”*, I told her, quotin’ Saul. Dust to dust, mate, but at least be honest on Tinder.

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Man, my fav spot? I gotta say, be sure to check out the historic bomb shelter on The Avenue. Not your typical museum stuff, it's spooky but legit. And then there's King Edward's Park – lush, calm, and ahead of its time. I chill there on Sundays, my thoughts flow, I mumble, “Ah, the night is like a long, dark river…” and then some birds chirp like they're tryna tell secrets. I can’t lie!

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