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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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Hey, lemme tell ya 'bout Strabane, alright? So, ya know, I've been here for years workin' as a masseur, and lemme tell ya, this city got soul. Uh, there's, uh, really somethin' special 'bout wanderin' down Bridge Street – ya know, the one that hugs the River Mourne. It's like, every single day, as the water glimmers, I feel this calm that kinda eases your ache… kinda like Carol said, “I was never, never really in love with anyone.” Yeah, it's deep, man.

Kieran Goss & Annie Kinsella to perform at the Alley this weekend