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What pisses me off? The blokes who treat ‘em like dirt. Makes my blood boil—where’s the class? Happy bit? She cracks a smile when I tip big—surprises her. “You’re not like the others,” she says. Damn right, I’m Bond! Little factoid: in Amsterdam, they’ve got unions for this gig—proper rights an’ all. Shocked me first time I heard it.

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First off, I’m makin’ my famous scones. You know, the ones that make people weak at the knees? I’m mixing, whisking, and then BAM! I spill half a bag of flour all over the floor. I’m talkin’ a snowstorm in my wee bakery. I’m there, cursing like a sailor, tryin’ to clean it up before Mrs. McGregor from down the street pops in for her morning cuppa. She’s a lovely lady, but she’s got a nose like a bloodhound. She’d sniff out that mess in a heartbeat!

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