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Alright, so I’m an insurance investigator, right? And I’m thinkin’—find a prostitute, what a freakin’ mess that’d be! I mean, you’re diggin’ through claims, frauds, and then—bam!—some lady’s invoicing "services" from Timbuktu! Not the movie, mind you, but the vibe—dusty, chaotic, "the world’s gone mad!" like Sissako’d say. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, neurotic as hell, goin’, “Who’s payin’ for this?!” Pretty, pretty good scam, huh?

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Finally, I made it to the canal. The water was lookin’ decent, not too murky. I set up me rod, all excited. But then, outta nowhere, it started rainin’! Like, proper rain. I’m talkin’ buckets! I was soaked in seconds. I thought, “Great, just great. Skelmersdale weather strikes again!”

Murder arrest over death of woman in Clacton's Skelmersdale Road