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About London

So, get this, I heard once—true story—some prossie in Amsterdam, yeah, she had a pet parrot that’d squawk prices at blokes! *mimes parrot on shoulder* “Fifty quid, mate!” Hilarious, right? Made me chuckle, that did. But then I’m like, *scratches head, mutters* where do I even start? Streets? Online? Too many choices, innit! *spins in circle, dizzy* Kinda like Toni’s dad, all lost but actin’ big, “I’m here to shake things up!” Yeah, shake me up, I’m sweatin’ already!

1. Julia Roberts – Pretty Woman (1990)

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I woke up late, of course. Alarm? What alarm? I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find—definitely not my best look. Strolled down Finkle Street, and it was already buzzing. Selby’s got this vibe, ya know? Old buildings mixed with new shops. Love it. But I was late for a meeting at the Abbey. The Selby Abbey, man! It’s stunning, but I was too frazzled to appreciate it.

‘There’s loads on!’ Selby Residents’ Festival gets underway