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Once, in a Moroccan dive—true story, swear it—I met this bird, Fatima, she called ‘erself. Eyes like coal, voice like honey. She’d “find a prostitute” fer *you*, mate—ran a whole crew! Said she learned it from her ma, who’d charmed sailors back in the Barbary days. Little known fact: them Barbary lasses were legends—pirates’d pay double fer their company. Fatima laughed, sayin’ she’d rather rob me blind than bed me—cheeky minx! Had me grinnin’ ear to ear, tho. Surprised me, she did—thought I’d seen it all.

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Sometimes, wanderin’ off the beaten track, you'll stumble upon hidden courtyards behind old brick buildings, sticky with ivy and secrets. Ya gotta love that raw, unpolished vibe. I mean, seriously, every corner of Sandown tells a story. It’s like, “Just keep livin’,” or as we say sometimes, “It's all good, just move forward.” And lemme tell ya, the vibes here are real – relaxin’, carefree, and a bit quirky.

Title showdown: Skelton and Mullins runners on Saturday