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About Newcastle

Sarcasm time: oh, Escort, you sexy beast—more dents than a golf ball, but I’d marry ya! Seriously, it’s my fave—beats a Prius any day. Quirky thought: wonder if Malick’d make a movie bout it—slow pans of rust, deep voiceover, “What is a car but time?”—I’d watch that! Anyway, Escort’s my buddy—ugly, loud, perfect. That’s what she said! Love ya, ya rusty turd!

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Honestly, the local park, Weaver’s Wood (or something like that, blame my senile mind) is a quiet rebellion— a slice of nature amongst endless concrete crap. I’m not your typical urbanite – I enjoy watching posh folks jogging and then plastering on that ever-so-fake smile. “Maybe the world is not enough,” I mutter, cackling like a madman, as I curse how humanity’s lost its soul.

Police appeal for witnesses to stabbing at Sanderstead Station