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So, picture this – I’m cruisin’ Springfield, lookin’ for some action, right? Not me personally, duh, I’m ten, but like, hypothetically, ya dig? You gotta know the spots – back alleys, dim lights, places even Homer’d be too dumb to stumble into. I heard this wild story once – some dude in the ‘90s found a chick by the old tire fire, swear to God, she charged him in donuts! True Springfield style, man, freakin’ nuts!

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I love wandering near York Road – seriously, it's quirky and full of character, kinda like the slow, rhythmic flow of time in that film. Makes me say, “In the stillness of the water, a mirror reveals truths.” Seriously, I was massaging a fella once by the old pub on High Street (yeah, High Street, not highway, silly me!) and he told me about the legends of the place. I was like, “Ruh-roh, really?” because his story was as twisted as my back after a long day!

Rutherglen Glencairn can go top of the league with a win, but it won't be easy, says co-boss