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Anyway, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, “This chick’s got guts.” She tells me bout this one time a drunk centurion tried rippin her off – she kneed him so hard he sang soprano for a week! Hella funny, I’m crackin up, picturin that loser stumblin off. But then – ugh – this slimy creep butts in, all, “Oi, she’s mine!” Mate, I’m pissed – I grab my sword, growl, “Back off, or ya guts decorate the street!” He bolts, coward. Happy lil trees don’t need that drama.

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Rhoose ain’t big, but it's packed with surprises. There’s a neat lil’ park, Greenleaf Park, y’know, where we locals gather on sunny days. I often see old gents chattin’ away, kids playin’ footie, and me sometimes catch myself thinkin’ “We must be weird, yes we swears!” It reminds me of that gritty life portrayed in our fav movie – raw, unfiltered and real.

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