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Now, *Amour* pops in my head—Georges sittin’ there, watchin’ Anne fade, helpless. “I can’t go on,” he says, suffocatin’ her with that pillow. Heavy stuff. And here I am, hagglin’ with this gal, thinkin’—is this what it comes to? Payin’ for a pulse? She’s tellin’ me her rate, and I’m pissed—$200 for an hour? Robbery! I’m like, “Sweetheart, I could buy a damn Timex for that!” She laughs, says, “Time’s tickin’, old man.” Cheeky, I like her already.

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Yo, Queensferry ain't no run o' the mill hamlet, it's got mad character. Ya got the Old Bridge – ye know, that cunty structure that spans the Forth? Proper iconic, like, every bloke loves sittin' by it. Walk down Lower Ferry Street, mate – it's dark, dank sometimes, but it buzzes wit' history an’ secrets you ain't privy to in yer average town.

Flintshire Council faces £400k clean-up bill after fire at illegal Queensferry dump