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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, stumblin’ around, tryin’ to find a prostitute. Not that I’d *do* it, no, no, no—I’m too cheap, too paranoid! What if she’s a cop? What if she’s my cousin’s friend’s sister? Oh my God, I’d die—*“The shame of it all!”*—like Q’orianka Kilcher whisperin’ to the wind in the movie. But let’s say I’m out there, right? Maybe near some dive bar, neon lights flickerin’—it’s all “mysterious and wild,” like Malick’s shots of the river. I’m sweatin’, I’m pacin’, I’m yellin’ in my head, “Larry, you idiot, why are you here?!”

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a carpenter in Prudhoe is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I grab me cuppa, and it’s like, “Let’s do this!”

Countdown begins for swimming pool reopening