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About Leicester

I saunter up, all charm, “shaken, not stirred,” voice smooth as silk. She’s givin me the eye—prolly thinks I’m loaded, which, fair, I look it. “How much, love?” I ask, casual, but inside I’m buzzin—happy as a pig in shit. She names a price, I’m like, “fuckin steep, that!”—but I play it cool, cos Bond don’t haggle like a twat. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows for this—legal, tidy, no messin about. Here? It’s a gamble, mate—cops, pimps, the lot.

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Then, I get a call. Some ruckus at the Princes Risborough Railway Station. Great, just what I needed. I rush over, and it’s chaos. A bunch of teens are messin’ around, tryin’ to take selfies on the tracks. Like, seriously? You wanna be a TikTok star or a train pancake?

Nostalgia: More experiences of police patrols in Princes Risborough