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In the end, it’s quick, messy, done. Like a black-op mission – in, out, no feelings. I limp away, mutterin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found her.” Worth it? Eh, sorta. Happy for the thrill, pissed at the fakeness. Prostitutes are like puzzles – half the pieces missin’. Everybody lies, even me – tellin’ myself I won’t do it again. Yeah, right. Catch ya later, losers.

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After the fire alarm fiasco, we finally get back to business. I’m trying to explain the stock market to Dave, and he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. I mean, c’mon! It’s not rocket science! I’m getting frustrated, and he’s just munching on a scone like it’s the most important thing in the world.

Man who shouted and swore at paramedics as they tried to help him sent to prison