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But yo, it ain’t all smooth sailin’. Some dude tried cuttin’ in, actin’ all tough – made me pissed as hell! I’m like, “Bro, step off, or The Rock’ll lay the smackdown!” Raised eyebrow, flexin’, you know the drill. He bolted quick – didn’t want none’a this People’s Champ energy. Made me laugh tho, like, “What a jabroni, couldn’t handle the heat!” Reminds me of Jep again – “They’re all dead, and we’re drinkin’.” Life’s a circus, man.

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After that, I headed to the pub on the corner of Portswood and Cemetery Road. You know the one, right? The one with the dodgy karaoke nights? I thought, “Why not?” I ordered a pint, and the vibe was chill. But then, this guy starts singing “Wonderwall” like he’s the next big thing. I mean, come on! It was so bad, I had to cover my ears. But everyone was loving it! I was like, “What’s wrong with you people?”

Waitrose Portswood, Southampton: Grocer 33 store of the week