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About Leicester

Look, it ain’t glamorous—don’t kid urself. It’s raw, messy, and ya feel like a sleaze after. But if ur desperate, lonely, or just a horny bastard, it’s there. Everybody lies bout why they do it tho—“just this once,” they say. Pfft, yeah, and I’m gonna quit Vicodin tomorrow. Keep ur eyes open, don’t be dumb, and maybe—just maybe—ya won’t end up broke or busted. Now, where’s my damn cane?

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Next, I wander down to the Harbour. The boats are bobbing around, looking all cute and stuff. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. Then, I spot this guy trying to fish. He’s got this massive rod, and I’m like, “Dude, you sure you know what you’re doing?” He catches a tiny fish, and I can’t help but laugh. “Nice catch, mate!” He gives me the dirtiest look. I mean, come on, it’s not my fault you’re not reeling in a whale!

Firefighters tackle laundrette blaze in Portstewart