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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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After that, I stroll down to the beach. Portrush’s beaches are stunning, man. White sand, blue water, the whole shebang. I plop down on the sand, ready to soak it all in. But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start a sandcastle competition. They’re yelling and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s like a scene from a movie. But then, one kid kicks a ball, and it lands right next to me. I’m like, “Great, now I’m part of the competition.”

Council invites members of the public to community engagement event ahead of The 153rd Open at Royal Portrush