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About Liverpool

So, we starts thinkin’, me and meself—where’s the prossies at? Moscow’s wild, yesss—Red Square’s all fancy, but nah, not there. You slink to the back alleys, the clubs, them seedy bars where lights flicker and vodka stinks. Hiss! Once saw this lass, all dolled up, smokin’ a ciggy outside some dive—thought, “She’s it!” Nope! Just a drunk uni chick, lost as hell—made me mad, wasted me time! Grrr! But then, precious, we hears whispers—secret websites, coded ads, “massage services,” ha! Like in the movie, “The Winklevii aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft—they’re suin’ me ‘cause I’m a prick!”—well, I ain’t no prick, just desperate, eh?

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So, I’m wandering around, trying to shake off the grumpiness. I stroll past Portlethen Park. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s a mud pit. I see a couple of doggos having a blast. One of them, a golden retriever, runs up to me, tail wagging like crazy. I’m like, “Dude, you’re my new best friend.” We play for a bit, and I forget about the rain. Dogs really know how to lift your spirits.

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