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Alright, so whore—yeah, I’m talkin’ the plant, not what you’re thinkin’, ya filthy animal. I’m Dr. House, agronomist edition, and everybody lies—even the damn crops. Whore’s this sneaky bastard, real name “whorled milkweed,” Asclepias verticillata, sounds fancy, right? Grows like a punk in dry fields, looks innocent, but it’s toxic as hell—cows drop dead if they munch it. Reminds me of that line from *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*— “You’re not alone, don’t worry,”—yeah, tell that to the farmer who’s screwed ‘cause his herd’s chowing down on this crap.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past and nearly takes me out. I swear, I nearly lost my lunch. I shouted, “Oi! Watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and pedaled off. Kids these days, right? No respect!

2025-01-11 - Loughgall v Portadown