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Oh, nearly forgot—surprised me once, this lass on Hinge, proper posh, said she’d only shag me if I recited poetry. I was like, “What?!” Pulled out some *Only Lovers* vibes—“Have you been around forever?”—an’ she was wetter than a Brentford rainstorm. Worked a treat! Little tip for ya there—bit of class goes miles.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the Ynysangharad Park. It’s a lovely spot, right by the river. I’m just vibing, taking in the scenery, when I see this kid flying a kite. It’s all colorful and stuff, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, BAM! The kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic! The kid starts crying, and I’m torn between laughing and helping. I mean, it’s just a kite, right? But then I remember my childhood kites and how I’d have a meltdown too. So, I help him out. Climb the tree, get the kite, and he’s all smiles again. Sweet moment, right?

Pontypridd and Cross Keys to contest the Welsh Cup final