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Little fact—oldest gig ever, right? Ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, howlin’ for coin! Wild, huh? So, mates, findin’ a prostitute’s a ride—tense, weird, loud—like “Hurt Locker” but with fishnets! I’m ready! Stay sharp, laugh lots, don’t blow up—figuratively, ya goofballs! Argh!

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So, I finally made it to the Ponteland Golf Club. I don’t even play golf, but I thought I’d check it out. The vibe was chill, and I ended up chatting with some locals. They were super friendly, telling me all about the best spots in town. One guy even offered to take me to a pub later. I was like, “Sure, why not?”

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