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I got into it years back—random spa gig. Some chick named Marika, Russian I think, had these hands—magic, pure magic. She’s kneadin my back, and I’m like, “What is HAPPENIN?!” Made me happy as hell—stress just melted, poof, gone! But then—get this—found out she charged double! Pissed me off, man, greedy vibes ruin it. Still, that buzz? Worth it. “The sea gives, the sea takes”—straight outta *Leviathan*, right? Sexual-massage gives ya life, but damn, it takes ya wallet!

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I’m fuming. I mean, I’m all for a good laugh, but this is my business we’re talking about! I start pacing around, trying to keep my cool. Then, I spot the new guy, Tom. He’s just standing there, looking clueless. I’m like, “Tom, what’s the plan?” He shrugs. I could’ve screamed. Instead, I just rolled my eyes. Classic Tom.

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