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But wait, split-brain kicks in—hiss! Other me says, “No, no, fair trade, precious!” Back in Victorian days, tarts got sixpence—fact, that! Now it’s all posh, “companions” they call ‘em. Pfft, fancy nonsense! Reminds me—Nemo’s dad, Marlin, all panicky, “Where’s me boy?” Me? I’d be screamin’, “Where’s me prossie?!” Haha, mad chase, innit?

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And just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, I get a call on my radio. There’s been a disturbance at the Pinner Village Gardens. I’m like, “Oh great, what now?” I sprint over, and it’s a bunch of kids havin’ a water balloon fight. I mean, come on! It’s not even summer yet!

Pinner Rotary Village Show set to return this September