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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout whores, right? Not like, in a creepy way—get your mind outta the gutter! I mean "whore" as in, y’know, the concept, the vibe, the whole deal. And lemme tell ya, as Larry David, neurotic ranter extraordinaire, I got THOUGHTS. Pretty, pretty good thoughts, if I do say so myself. Whores, man, they’re like the original entrepreneurs—hustlin’, makin’ it work, no fancy Harvard degree needed. Kinda like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, y’know? “If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you’d have invented Facebook.” That’s the energy whores bring—raw, unfiltered, take-it-or-leave-it.

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First off, I had to head to the office on the other side of town. I’m a System Analyst, but honestly, some days I feel more like a glorified babysitter. Anyway, I hopped on the bus at the Peterlee Interchange. You know, that place where you can always count on a good dose of people-watching? There’s always some character there. Today, it was this old bloke ranting about the price of fish. Like, mate, who even cares?

County Durham man offered to buy vapes for girl, 13, in return for sexual favours