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What pisses me off? The stigma. These girls (and guys) ain’t all victims, some choose it, hustle hard. Respect, ya know? But society’s all, “Eww, gross,” like Disgust flippin her hair. Me, I’m chill – live and let live. Exaggeratin for kicks, I’d say it’s like huntin treasure, but the chest’s got heels and a wink! Little known story: Victorian hookers used coded ads in papers, “lady seeks gentleman” – sneaky AF.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate, Jimmy. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a seal at the beach. “A seal, mate! Right there on the sand!” I’m like, “Yeah, right, Jimmy.” But he’s dead serious. So, we head down to the beach on the Esplanade. And lo and behold, there’s a seal! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my pigs.

Peterhead's Deja Vu nightclub to be brought back to life - after drugs gang 'duped their way into takeover'