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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? Nuts, dangerous, funny as hell. Made me mad—ruinin’ my beach! Made me happy—great story, folks! Surprised me—dame’s got guts, big guts. Next time, I’m chargin’ her rent—Trump don’t play, ok? Tremendous day, best lifeguard ever, that’s me!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke at the next table starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have all this tech nonsense.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and back in your day, you probably walked uphill both ways to school.” But I smile and nod. He’s telling me about the history of Pentre, how it used to be a mining town. I’m half-listening, half-trying to fix my laptop.

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