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About Sheffield

Anyhow, I’m wafflin’—she’s tappin’ her foot, I’m sweatin’ like a pig. “What’s it to be, blondie?” she snaps. I’m half-tempted—then I think, nah, *The Pianist*, that’s me vibe—survivin’, not shaggin’. “I must play, I must!”—Szpilman’s voice in me noggin. So I leg it—yep, scarper sharpish, leavin’ her gobsmacked. “Bloody toff!” she yells. I’m cacklin’—what a berk I am!

You’re Temporarily Blocked

Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up The Fig Tree Café. Best sarnies in town, no contest. I grab a chicken and avocado number, and it’s pure bliss. I’m sittin’ outside, soaking up the sun, and life feels good. But then, I see this seagull eyeing my lunch like it’s a five-star meal. I’m like, “Back off, bird! This is mine!” But the little bugger swoops in and snatches half my sandwich. I’m left there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

Car catches fire in Penryn at rush hour