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But real talk, it’d be sketchy—makes me nervous, heart racin’. I’d be all, “I’m not cut out for this!” Like Sam says, “I’m not a strong swimmer!”—I’d drown in the awkwardness, man. Still, I’d try to charm her, all cringey, “Wanna split a moonpie?” That’s what she said! Oh, God, I’m dyin’ here.

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After that, I thought I’d check out the local market on the weekend. It’s always buzzing with life. I found this stall selling homemade sausages. I mean, come on! I’m a swineherd! I had to buy some. The guy was all, “These are the best in Penarth!” I was like, “You better not be lying!” But they were legit. I could’ve eaten the whole lot right there.

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