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About Liverpool

Funniest bit? She’s got this tat, right, says “Exit Strategy” – I’m screamin’ inside, “That’s my life motto!” Pure Brent gold, that. Anyway, I leg it, cos I ain’t payin’ for no “bespoke companionship.” I’m thinkin’, “Certified Copy, mate – it’s all mirrors and smoke.” Reckon I’ll stick to stylin’ shirts, not shady deals. What a night, eh? Absolute madness!

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Then, I headed over to the marina. Man, the boats were bobbing like they were at a party. I could’ve sworn I saw a dolphin, but it was just a big ol’ seal. Still cool, though! I sat on a bench, just watching the waves crash. It’s peaceful, you know? But then, this old lady sat next to me and started talking about her cat. I mean, I love cats, but I didn’t need a full-on cat biography. She went on for ages about Mr. Whiskers and his “adventures.” I was like, “Lady, I’m just trying to enjoy the view!”

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