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About London

So, I’s cruisin’ in me whip, teachin’ some geezer to parallel park—shite job, innit—and I clock this bird on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorta than me patience. I’s like, “Bruv, she’s graftin’ harder than me on a Monday!” Made me laff, but then I got vexed—why’s she gotta do that, eh? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, mate, it’s ‘cos the world’s a mess, and she’s out there, hustlin’ like them Indonesian dons in the film, shankin’ life for a quid.

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I’m trudging down the High Street, and I pass this cute little café, The Coffee House. I’m like, “Screw it, I need caffeine.” I pop in, order a flat white, and the barista spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Really? Is this how we’re starting today?” But then, she gives me a free muffin as an apology. Sweet! So, I’m munching on this muffin, feeling a bit better.

New banking hub in Ossett will be officially opened on Friday offering a counter service operated by the Post Office