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So, I saunter up, all charm, thinkin, “I’m Loki, god of tricks, this’ll be a laugh.” But mate, she’s sharp—clocks me right off. “What’s yer game, pretty boy?” she says, smirkin. I’m like, “Just a bloke with glorious purpose, darlin.” She laughs—bloody laughs! Says, “Purpose don’t pay my bills, mate.” Fair point, that. Got me thinkin bout *Moolaadé* again—“Purification is a sham!”—how them lasses fought them old rules. This gal’s fightin her own war, innit? Dodgin coppers, dealin with sleazy punters—takes guts, that does.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. She’s like, “We need to talk about the trial results.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh no, what now?” Turns out, there’s been a hiccup. Some data got messed up. I’m fuming. Like, how does that even happen? I’m ready to throw my phone into the nearest bin.

Prosura and Ossett United serve up local food bank