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So, yeah, dangerous gig – sex work. You’re out there, dodgy streets, looking for a prossie. Shady blokes eyeing ya, stinks of piss and regret. I’d scream, “Idiot sandwich!” at the punters – absolute muppets, risking it all for a quick shag. Fun fact – back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-bang. Crafty sods! Bet they’d laugh at us now, fumbling with cash apps.

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So, I run back to my van, and on the way, I see this group of kids playing footie on the street. They’re shouting and laughing, and I’m like, “Man, I miss being a kid.” But then, one of them kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like a ninja. I’m not getting taken out by a bunch of kids, no way!

Free car parking at South West College Omagh on selected dates