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About Glasgow

Humor me here, tho. Imagine findin’ a prostitute and she’s like, “Sorry, I’m on break, gotta finish my crossword puzzle!” Or worse, she charges by the minute and you’re fumblin’ with your wallet like, “Wait, wait, gimme a sec!” Sarcasm, sure, but it’s kinda true, ain’t it?

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First customer walks in. It’s Dave, the local footie fan. He’s got a wild mane, like a lion on a bad hair day. He plops down in my chair, and I’m like, “What’s the plan, mate?” He goes, “Just a trim.” But you know how it is. One minute it’s a trim, next minute I’m givin’ him a full-on fade. He’s buzzin’ about the Latics, and I’m tryin’ to keep up. “Did ya see the match?” he asks. I’m like, “Mate, I was busy cuttin’ hair, not watchin’ paint dry.”

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