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I’m picturin’ it – me, drivin’ round, lookin’ for some action. Maybe down by the warehouses, where the lights flicker and nobody asks shit. Dr. Evil vibes – pinky up, “One million dollars.” – like I’m buyin’ the whole damn block. But real talk, it ain’t that fancy. Prolly just some chick named Tammy, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a streetlight. “What’s your story, hon?” I’d ask, all smooth, but inside I’m like, “This is nuts, what am I doin’?”

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After that, I meet up with Sam at The Crown. It’s a proper pub, full of character. We’re having a laugh, and I’m telling him about my day. He’s cracking up, especially about the handle incident. I swear, I nearly snorted my drink.

Horrifying 12 year mystery of mum and 5 children killed in Harlow house fire with only dad surviving