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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, askin’ if I wanna join him at the pub later. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I wrap up my chat with the old bloke and head to The Crown. It’s a cozy little spot, always packed with locals. I grab a pint and sit down, ready to unwind.

Police catch off-roader seen riding 'dangerously' in Telford