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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so we’re chillin’ like intergalactic drifters, scopin’ out this wild human gig called prostitut—prostitution, ya know? Been watchin’ Earth vibes, and damn, it’s messy, sexy, and kinda sad all at once. Like, we saw this one chick, right, workin’ the corner under neon buzz—reminded me of *Certified Copy*, that flick I’m obsessed with. “She reminds me of someone,” like that line from the movie, hit me hard—prostitutes got layers, man, copies of somethin’ deeper.

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After that little disaster, I decide to stroll down to Oadby’s park. You know, the one by the Oadby Cemetery? It’s actually pretty nice. I’m walkin’ along the path, and I see this old dude feeding the ducks. I’m thinkin’, “Man, that’s the life.” Just chillin’ with ducks. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches his bread! I’m like, “What the heck?!” The guy’s flabbergasted, and I can’t help but laugh.

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