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About Newcastle

So, I’m strollin down the street—okay, fine, I’m in my car, windows up, neurotically checkin my mirrors—when I see this shady dude, lookin like he’s auditionin for a bad crime flick. He’s got the trench coat, the sly grin—total “find a prostitute” energy. And I’m like, “Really? REALLY?!” What happened to class, huh? Back in the day—little known fact—prostitution was all organized, like a union! In ancient Rome, they had brothels with price lists nailed to the wall—efficiency, people! Now? It’s all sketchy vibes and awkward eye contact. Makes me wanna scream, “Get a room—or a robot!”

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So, we head over to the new place, and it’s packed! Like, who knew Aycliffe had this many people? We squeezed in, and I ordered that burger. It was massive! I’m talking two patties, cheese, the works. I took a bite, and it was heavenly. I was in burger bliss. But then, disaster struck. I dropped half of it on the floor! I was devastated. I mean, who drops a burger?

Plans to turn Newton Aycliffe guest house into homes approved by council