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Anyways, I’m chattin’ her up, casual like, coz she’s got this vibe—tough, y’know? Like she’s seen it all. “What’s the worst punter you’ve had?” I ask. She goes, “This toff, thought he’s a king, lasted two seconds.” I cackle—pathetic! Reminds me of that film bit, “The truth is always there.” Truth is, most blokes are rubbish, ain’t they? Surprised me how she shrugged it off, tho—proper queen, her.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave shows up. He’s always got some wild idea. Today, he’s like, “Let’s do a team-building exercise!” I’m thinking, “Are you kidding me?” But he’s got that look in his eye, you know? So, I’m like, “Fine, let’s do it.” We end up at the Newark Castle grounds. Beautiful spot, by the way. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history, right?

Newark village granted higher road to rise above floodwaters