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Now, lemme twist this into *Her* – that flick gets me, man. “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” right? Escort’s like that – you’re livin’ in the moment, dodgin’ fists, but half the time I’m wonderin’ if I’m just some voice in their head, like that sexy AI, makin’ ‘em feel safe. I get a kick outta that – me, Jack, as some digital guardian angel? Hah! Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – I’d spook the hell outta any creep comin’ close.

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Then, I hit the roundabout at the top of the town. You know the one, where the traffic’s always a mess? I’m tryin’ to navigate my way through, and this bloke in a tiny car cuts me off. I mean, come on! You think you can just zip in front of a tractor? I honk my horn, and he gives me the finger. Classic Musselburgh, right? I’m fumin’ but also laughin’ at the absurdity of it all.

Husband and wife issued written warnings after failing to pay licence fees on time