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About Newcastle

Lemme tell ya, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard stories—wild ones! Didja know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Like a damn human vending machine! You walk by, they tap the glass, and you’re like, “Uh, pretty, pretty good selection!” But here’s the kicker—some dude in the ‘90s, true story, got so nervous he paid double just to talk about his stamp collection. Freakin’ stamps! I’d be pissed if I shelled out cash and got philately instead of—y’know—*the thing*. Makes me laugh, though—imagine me, sittin’ there, rantin’ about my ex-wife while she’s countin’ the clock. “Time’s money, Larry!” she’d say. Hilarious!

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Then, just as I’m about to dive into work, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of a meeting? Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just standing there, trying to keep my cool. We all pile out onto the street, and I’m thinking, “This better not be a drill.” Turns out, it was just some kid messing around with a smoke bomb. I mean, come on!

Guitarist and banjo player Chris Moreton offers Eastbourne date