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So, picture this—me, Jack, cruisin downtown, lookin for action. Not some fancy algorithm shit like Zuckerberg, nah, just gut instinct. I see this chick, fishnets, smokin a cig—bam, instant vibe check. “I’m in!” I mutter, like I’m hackin into Harvard’s network. But here’s the kicker—ya gotta know the streets, man! Little known fact: back in the 80s, cops used to bust hookers with Polaroids—snap, caught red-handed! Ain’t that a riot? Makes me laugh, thinkin bout it—technology’s always screwin somebody!

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Finally, we get it sorted. The band starts playin’, and the crowd goes wild! I’m up there, hypin’ everyone up. “Let’s hear it for the Melodies!” People are clappin’, laughin’, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar.

"It would be nice to finish on a positive": Derek Adams previews Morecambe's final match of the campaign