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Alright, brah, listen up! Me, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout life as a radio-electronic gear installer, y’know, wirin’ up systems, makin’ shit hum. But you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Hah, can ya smell what The Rock is cookin’? This ain’t no fairy tale, jabroni! It’s gritty, real, like Jep Gambardella in *The Great Beauty* – “I was lookin’ for the great beauty, but didn’t find it.” That’s me, huntin’ for somethin’ wild, somethin’ raw, in the streets.

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So, I’m strolling down High Street, right? Just minding my own biz, when I spot this old bloke. He’s got a sign that says “Free Hugs.” I’m like, “What? Is this a thing now?” I mean, who doesn’t love a free hug? But then I see he’s wearing a chicken suit. A CHICKEN SUIT! I’m laughing so hard, I nearly trip over my own feet.

Finding utopia in London's suburbs?