Elizabeth Mitcham Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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She’s got dis rep, see? Folks whisper she once traded a squirrel’s stash o’ nuts fer a shiny trinket – true story, doc! Ain’t nobody else sniffin’ out deals like dat in da woods. Makes me chuckle, tho – she’s slicker than a greased carrot! But damn, it ticks me off when she scams da lil’ critters. “You’re tearing me apart!” – I wanna scream dat at her, straight outta da movie, ‘cause she’s messin’ wit my pals!

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Next, I head over to the Mitcham Library. I’m tryin’ to do some research for my job, ya know? The methodology of studying attractiveness in professions. Sounds fancy, huh? But the library’s closed! I’m fuming. Like, how can a library be closed in the middle of the day? I’m thinkin’, “What’s the point of livin’ in a town with no access to knowledge?”

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