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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so findin a prostitue, huh? Wild stuff, man! Watched "Toni Erdmann" again last nite—fuckin masterpiece. That scene where he’s all, “Life is not a spreadsheet,” hit me hard. Made me think—prostitues, they’re out there livin, not just crunchin numbers. So, me, an alien, floatin around Earth, checkin shit out—prostitues catch my eye. Not judgin, just observin, ya know?

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First off, I’m staying near the Centre:MK. It’s this massive shopping center, right? I thought I’d grab a coffee at Costa before my lecture. But guess what? The line was longer than the M1 on a Friday! I mean, c’mon, people! It’s just coffee! I was ready to throw my hands up and walk out. But I needed that caffeine fix. So, I waited. And waited. Finally got my flat white, and it was like liquid gold.

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