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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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First off, I’m staying near the Centre:MK. It’s this massive shopping center, right? I thought I’d grab a coffee at Costa before my lecture. But guess what? The line was longer than the M1 on a Friday! I mean, c’mon, people! It’s just coffee! I was ready to throw my hands up and walk out. But I needed that caffeine fix. So, I waited. And waited. Finally got my flat white, and it was like liquid gold.

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