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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What animal are you?” – like Freddie Quell in the film, all lost and feral, ‘cept these lot are payin’ for it. Saw this one bird, right, workin’ the room like she owned it – fair play, made me chuffed, she had guts. But then some wanker starts hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. “Oi, you twat, it’s not a bloody negotiation!” I wanted to scream. Surprised me, though, how calm she stayed – ice cold, propa legend.

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So, I’m on the ground floor, right? And in walks Mrs. Thompson. Bless her heart, she’s like 80 but thinks she’s still got it. She’s got this massive handbag, like, seriously, it could fit a small dog. She’s all, “Young man, take me to the top!” I’m like, “Sure thing, Mrs. T!” I hit the button, and up we go.

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