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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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One of them, this tall kid with a beanie, looks at me and says, “Hey, mate, can we go to the roof?” I’m like, “Nah, mate, not today.” But they’re persistent. Finally, I give in. I hit the button, and up we

Milestone for Millom poet's museum plan as work set to start