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About Leicester

Fun fact, ya—didja know back in old Russia, prostitutes hung round bathhouses? Called ‘em “banya girls,” sneaky lil’ hustlers. Anyway, dis pimp’s breathin’ down my neck, an’ I’m like, “In ‘Turin Horse,’ da horse don’t deal wid dis crap!” Da movie’s all ‘bout sufferin’, right? “Man lives his life, he dies”—dat’s me, dodgin’ dis thug, tryna get my night goin’. I’m SURPRISED, ‘cause I thought findin’ a prostitute was easy—ha! Nope, it’s a freakin’ circus!

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After that, I decide to head to the local pub, The Merstham Arms. I need a pint, like, ASAP. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s chatting, laughing, and I’m just there, soaking in the vibes. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day.” I’m like, “You have no idea, mate.”

I visited a soon to reopen Surrey recreation ground to see how a £3 million upgrade is getting on