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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.
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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. Jenkins, who lives on Merrow Lane. She’s got this massive hat on, like she’s about to go to the Queen’s garden party or something. She’s yelling at a pigeon! I mean, who yells at pigeons? But she’s like, “Get outta my garden, you feathered fiend!” I couldn’t help but chuckle.
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