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She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the canal. It’s peaceful there, right? But as I’m walkin’, I spot a group of teenagers. They’re throwin’ stuff in the water. I’m like, “Oi! What are ya doin’? This ain’t a rubbish dump!” They just laugh and keep tossin’ their junk. I’m fumin’. I mean, come on! Respect the nature, people!

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